A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbour.
Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later, the woman responsible for spreading the rumour learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "Purchase a bag of feathers". Then on your way home, drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now, go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay the wind had blown all the feathers away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three feathers in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "It's easy to drop them, but it is impossible to get them back.
So it is with gossip.
It doesn't take much to spread a rumour, but once you do you can never completely undo the wrong.
Gossiping is an addiction. if you get into this dirty habit, its hard to break out of it, its even harder if your Sangat (the people who you hang around with "chill" with) are also big gossipers, and love knocking people down.
Slander is similar to gossip (very very similar) but its mainly done out of Jealousy (eerkha), of maybe somebody's success, fame, looks etc, or even their wealth and other materialistic things. It happens simply because "we can't take it" or it could be done out of hatred or simply disliking some due to their views or ideas...whatever the reason for slandering, its not a good habit and Gurbani clearly tells us the consequences...
Siri Guru Granth Sahib Jee Says:
jis a(n)dhar chugalee chugalo vajai keethaa karathiaa ous dhaa sabh gaeiaa ||
One whose heart is filled with malicious gossip, is known as a malicious gossip; everything he does is in vain.
which I have observed to be true (well every thing Maharaj Ji says is :-) We are always sooo happy to find out what's happening to people, we get some sort of unknown joy and fun, we make it a habit to find out gossip and then it is our habit to spread it, far and wide!!!!
Contrary to the "normal" way of thinking, Gursikhs (True Sikhs of the Guru), like it when people gossip and slander them, their looks, their characteristics etc... That's because energy is energy. It doesn't matter if it's positive or negative. People who slander you are actually just giving you energy. When you do not react, you can simply enjoy the energy itself. This is what Bhagat Kabeer Jee (a muslim Saint) in Siri Guru Granth Sahib Jee Says:
ni(n)dho ni(n)dho mo ko log ni(n)dho ||
Slander me, slander me - go ahead, people, and slander me.
ni(n)dhaa jan ko kharee piaaree ||
Slander is pleasing to the Lord's humble servant.
Worthwhile reading whole Shabadh: http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=1355
Bhagat Jee is happily inviting people to slander him, he doesn't really care! In fact, he enjoys it.
The way to beat reacting to other people's negativity is to learn how to control your mind. In Japji Sahib, Guru Ji says: man jeetai jag jeet, master your own mind and you have won the world. You have broken the shackles, and gandh of society, the same society that gets us in these messes and bad habits...
Also reading more Gurbani helps as does reading inspiring sakhis. Bring stability to your mind by doing Japa of Vaheguroo, Mool Mantra or several Jap Jee Sahibs each day. Balance your sleeping routine, wake up early and do simran and read reading Gurbani first off, before you do anything else.... Hey, that means no late night gossip sessions :-P
Before you speak, think first. Does this really contribute to what is being said? Is it truthful? Will it elevate the situation?
Let us all strive to be better humans, and to live in our excellence as Sikhs of the Guru.
Okay, now.... challenge yourself! See if you can go at least one week without talking behind someone's back or spreading a lie. Check yourself. Listen to yourself.
Do a simple search on "gossip" using Sikhitothemax, and see what turns up. You do know Sikhitothemax, right? It is a fantastic tool in English where you can find out the meaning of Gurbani and also do research into meanings and what gurbanee says about various things.
Bhul Chuk Maaf..
Dass...
This article was based on an email from Amarpreet Singh - Sikh youth - Slough [email protected]